


Set You Free

by aeternamente



Series: Time and Space [8]
Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-14
Updated: 2014-10-14
Packaged: 2018-02-21 05:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2455802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeternamente/pseuds/aeternamente
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You have to wonder if there’s anyone else who has ever felt personally let down by their favorite quote, yet is still unable to stop thinking about it, singing it, whispering it at random moments throughout the day.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Set You Free

_"Love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free."_

It seems like this song has been going through your head even more than usual lately.

You have to wonder if there’s anyone else who has ever felt personally let down by their favorite quote, yet is still unable to stop thinking about it, singing it, whispering it at random moments throughout the day. Come to think of it, it is strange that you of all people should be an ardent believer in love. You. Whose abject refusal to continue to go by the name you share with your father was what finally convinced your mum to stop giving him more chances and move the both of you back here to Messina to live with Grammy and Gramps.

The voicemails had started after that. Pleading, cajoling, ultimately threatening, but Mum always said that leaving him had set her free.

So where does that leave you and your quote?

You ask mum about it, and she immediately takes you in her arms.

"It  _was_  love that made me do it, Balthazar,” she murmurs in your ear as she strokes your hair. “I did it because I love  _you_ , and because I was trying to learn to love myself too.”

You nod and sniffle. This gives you more to think about. Later on, you discover the poem that  _Sigh No More_  is based on. Turns out it’s all about how men are deceivers, and you can’t really do anything about it, so you should just let them go and be happy anyway. You use the poem for lyrics in a new song. It’s one of your better songs. You play it for Ursula, who has a thoughtful look on her face the whole time you’re playing it.

"You know," she says, "I think he’s trying to be better."

She doesn’t need to say his name.

"Maybe…" you say, "but right now it doesn’t really matter. I need to do what’s best for me."

She nods. “That’s fair. Hey, why don’t you play it again? I can probably come up with a good backup vocal.”

Doing what’s best for you isn’t always easy. It’s probably not best for you to dwell on that time you kissed Pedro, but every time you see him at school, it’s right there, tingling on your lips as if it just happened. (If you had ever wondered if kissing Pedro would live up to the expectations you’ve built up, well it didn’t. It far exceeded them.) But it’s also not best for you to beat yourself up over every Pedro-related thought you have. That just gets exhausting.

You’re working through all of this in your head as you walk from one class to the next, when you come to realize that someone is calling your name.

"Balthazar! Hey!" You turn to see Meg jogging toward you.

"Hey, what’s up?"

"Hey, so—" She cuts off, looks around, then drags you around the corner. "So Ben is trying to write a song for Beatrice."

"A song?"

Meg’s eyes go wide. “Yeah, and he definitely needs help, it’s pretty atrocious.”

You know where this is going.

"So I was wondering if you and me could go over to his house, maybe help him out—you know, in the spirit of the Love Gods and all that?" She nudges you and grins expectantly.

And what can you say?  _No I’m having a bit of a personal crisis and I’m not sure I believe in romantic love just now?_  Then you’d have to explain… things. And you’d really rather not.

So it’s not long before you and your ukulele show up at Ben’s doorstep. And you’re expecting it to be uncomfortable. You’re expecting to be mostly quiet, letting Meg come up with the ideas while you just strum some suitable chords. But Ben’s so alive and enthusiastic and endearingly besotted, it’s weirdly infectious.

And really, some of his ideas aren’t half bad. Once you pick out a few of the better ones and get some rhythm and rhyme patterns set up, the three of you have a lot of fun just tossing words around.

"Okay, so how about this: maybe I scorned thee, but…"

"Hmmm…"

"But now I’m really horny!" Meg cries. She immediately claps a hand over her mouth. "Oh my god is your mum here?" she asks through her fingers.

"Probably yeah…" Ben eyes his door which is open a crack. "But no I like it!"

You start up the strumming pattern.

_"Maybe I scorned thee,"_ you sing,  
 _"But now I find I’m horny for you, it’s true…"_

_"Maybe you are horny for me too!"_  Ben adds.

You laugh, then Ben joins you, then Meg, and then you’re all helplessly stuck in giggle fits.

The rest of the afternoon passes in much the same way. The song comes together pretty easily. Yeah it’s a bit awkward and irreverent, but it’s all very characteristically  _Ben_ , and you think Bea will get a kick out of it (as opposed to that thinly-veiled “Bea’s a B—” song he was trying to get you to help him with a few months ago).

Now you and Meg are lounging on the sofa in Ben’s room with Ben behind you on the bed.

"I’m a little jealous of you two, by the way," Meg says.

"Oh, we’re not—" Ben hedges nervously.

"You totally are! You just wrote a song about how in love with her you are! And you really understand each other, you know? It was all pretty much just physical with me and Robbie, which is great, but I just want to find someone who  _gets_ me, you know?”

"What about Balthy here? You’re single, right?"

"Actually, I’m gay." It comes out before you’ve had a chance to work up an anxiety about this revelation and what it would mean to put it out there.

"Really?" Ben says, his eyebrows raised.

Meg shrugs. “My loss,” she says with a smile and a wink.

And that’s all they say about it. And absolutely nothing changes in the way they talk to you or look at you.

You and Ben agree to record a video of the song tomorrow, and you leave his house feeling… just really light hearted, and like maybe you can still believe in your favorite quote after all.


End file.
